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August 30, 2007 / lazybug

About emails, chats and couples

I was debating about this today. My point was that important issues related to the future of two people together need to be discussed in person and other options like email and chat get no where near in terms of the effect when compared. They are at best, poor substitutes I feel. Things usually boil down to discussing petty issues like the weather etc., but they can get really funny/useless/absurd too like, what was for breakfast today? how was it? did you like it? Now getting to know the other person better might be the whole intention of this activity, but this kind of an exchange is nothing short of waste of time. I do believe that the maturity of the two persons involved plays a major role in the ratio of absurd talk to sensible talk, but not being face to face plays an even major role.

My views might be influenced by the fact that I have never been in a position where email and chat are the most accessible means of communication…and I know some people who would want to crucify me for placing that argument. Well, I can’t help it, can I?

Awaiting brickbats packaged in philosophies.



Leave a Comment
  1. Vinay / Aug 30 2007 5:14 pm

    yo man! I fully concur with you. But we need to be in their shoe to comment exactly on this. Well, I have been in this situation for sometime but it wasn’t real fun. Meeting in person and talking while looking into his/her eyes is real fun. Chatting and telecon once in a while is acceptable but all through the day is something which really sucks.

  2. Chittaranjan / Aug 31 2007 5:27 am

    Sounds gibberish to me 😐 But I’d like to point out that it should be ‘discussed about’ and not ‘about discussed’ in the first sentence 😛

  3. Chittaranjan / Aug 31 2007 5:29 am

    read ‘debating’ in lieu of ‘discussed’ in the comment above!

  4. lazybug / Aug 31 2007 5:34 am

    What’s so gibberish about that?

  5. Chittaranjan / Sep 1 2007 6:35 am

    I feel thats a personal choice and one has no right to criticize/praise another individual’s practices and habits!

  6. lazybug / Sep 1 2007 11:50 am

    Of course it’s a personal choice. Who’s denying that? The whole point of my post is that it’s not as effective as a face-to-face chat which is most important in such cases!

  7. Prasanthi / Sep 3 2007 6:32 am

    Is it something meant for discussion? And everyone cannot think alike. I wonder how the third person can comment about the couple chatting very important things in mail without interfering in their talk or without any special interest in that couple’s life, or their talk. We live in a democratic country with people having independence to do what they can and what they want. But do we have the right to/do we need to discuss or debate about things related to others’ personal issues?

  8. Ramakrishna / Sep 3 2007 6:47 am

    My first point is why are we worried if the communication medium is effective or not? The communication medium – be it email/chat/phone – might be preferred based on their convenience, comfort, or something which only those people knew. Who knows if the issues are petty/absurd and how does anyone have the right to comment on an individual/couple’s talk in this way? Blog might be a place to express one’s feelings or thoughts but is it really that important/necessary to discuss someone else’s personal discussions in one’s blog?

  9. lazybug / Sep 3 2007 8:58 am

    My point is only with respect to the effectiveness of such a medium as compared to a face-to-face talk. I have not referred to any one in particular and neither do I intend to infringe anyone’s democratic rights. I am sure the constitution of India gives me the right to have an opinion and express it as long as I do not make it personal. I can’t help it if people take things personally in stead of taking it as just another opinion.

    @Ramakrishna: I do not see anything wrong in discussing the effectiveness of a medium of communication. But then again, if people take it personally and misunderstand the whole intention of the argument being put forward, no proper discussion is possible anyway since it has already been turned into a confrontation.

  10. Ramakrishna / Sep 3 2007 9:39 am

    U r mistaken, my dear. And for ur kind information, I don’t have any intention to confront with anyone. I read through very few blogs regularly and Urs is one among those. I made my point as the way you made yours and there’s nothing personal about it. My point was – We are not the ones who can decide the effectiveness or call it absurd; Those involved must be very much aware of what they do and we need not worry about such things.

  11. lazybug / Sep 3 2007 9:56 am

    Decide? I have not decided anything in my blog, that’s just my opinion. I also mentioned why I could be wrong in saying what I said. But it does look like you have decided there’s no point in discussing this.

    And please do tell me when and where in my post have I discussed ‘someone else’s personal discussions’…

  12. vinay / Sep 4 2007 6:02 am

    Oh my god!
    Heated arguments. I think Akhil’s post was after watching/enduring the harassment of a number of people/couplings chat or talk over phone all trifle matters.

    Even I have come across a number of couplings who do the above mentioned things. If that is their interest, then as a blogger and as the owner of this blog, Akhil has every right to express his opinion and I fully endorse it. I am a prospective chatter/blogger as my marriage will be fixed or I may fall in love again.

    But for now I am in the same court as Akhil is.

  13. Ramakrishna / Sep 4 2007 10:48 am

    I believe the comments have been made about the post and not the blogger per se.. As the blog has been written based on one’s opinion/thinking about others’ way of communication or whatever, comments are sure to follow the post as every individual will have his/her own opinion. Where and why does the confusion arise about confronting with or offending people??

  14. lazybug / Sep 4 2007 12:44 pm

    The whole so called confusion stems from the fact that people have written about their democratic rights almost as if my only interest is in criticising their chatting practices. Why else would people use those words? Frankly I don’t give a damn about what two people talk between themselves.

    I have been in to blogging for enough time to understand when things have been taken personally and when not. This whole string of comments is a clear indication of that. I never mentioned any one’s name, neither did I mention what is spoken between a couple. Why else would my right or desire to discuss the effectiveness of a medium of communication in a blog be questioned unless things have been taken personally? I am sad that just a simple point-of-view has evoked such a strong negative reactions and has diverted the whole discussion.

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